The Gang's All Here

Left to Right:
Sammi, Jacob, Alie, me, Marissa, Josh

My family is pretty big. There's 5 kids (me being the oldest) and my sister just got married this past summer so that makes 6 now. With me going to school in Tucson, Sam up in Wyoming, and Marissa and her husband up in Washington it's been a long while since all of us have been in the same place at the same time. This past weekend though the whole gang was reunited again for a holiday fiesta!

It was really wonderful being able to spend time with my crazy siblings, and it was a lot of fun getting to know my brother in law better too! (He shared his Nerds Rope with me so he's a cool cat in my book). 

I'm so grateful that I have a family who loves and supports each other no matter what. We all have our faults and our differences but between the stolen clothes and bickering we all love each other fiercely. And I think that's pretty cool. 

What's Your Passion?

I'm taking an entrepreneurship class this semester. I signed up for it because it's a required elective not because I thought I'd enjoy it, but oh man do I! It's all about self-discovery and then applying what you've learned about yourself into a business venture. I still have no idea what I want to do after graduation, but my professor posed a question last week that really stuck with me. His question: what is your passion? It sounds super cheesy, I know, but I took it seriously and the conclusion I came to really surprised me.

My passion is making people feel good and love themselves for who they are. 

I wouldn't consider myself a mean person, but I've never considered myself an overly nice person either. So where in the world did this "passion" of mine come from? I've thought about it for the past week and I've come to the conclusion that I want other people to love the journey they're on because I've started loving my own journey and it's amazing the liberation that comes with knowing who you are and being that person unapologetically. I want everyone to come to the realization that no, we're not perfect but we were never meant to be--and that's okay.He followed up that question with:

If you had one opportunity to make an impact what would it be? 

I've always had a great interest in other people's stories and experiences so when social media became a thing I was all over it. I have 2 blogs, 2 YouTube channels, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Tumblr, Snapchat, a Facebook page, and the list probably goes on. Hundreds of people from around the world are following those accounts and I want to be a source of good--a source of positivity and love. There's too much negative floating around the internet and on social media, I don't need to be a part of that. So if I had the opportunity to make one impact I'd pick the opportunity I already have. I choose to  be a source of encouragement to all those who follow my accounts. And if I never gain another follower in my entire life...who cares? As long as I'm making one person's day a little brighter then it will all be worth it in the end.

A Journey Toward a Happier Me

I have not posted on this blog in over two years...that's awkward. I have been pretty active on my other blog though (Iridescent Glow) if you maybe want to check that out.

But that's not what I'm here to talk about. Today I wanted to talk about something that I've been working really hard at for the past couple of months: fitness. I started my freshman year of college at a trim, muscular 145 lbs. I was confident, happy, and most importantly healthy. Fast forward three years and I'm sitting at 190 lbs and am a depressed, unhealthy, sulking mess. I've struggled with depression on and off my entire life and from my sophomore to junior year of college let it consume me and my eating habits. I put on nearly 50 lbs because I'd eat when I got depressed and then lay around and be depressed because I was gaining weight...so I'd eat some more.

It wasn't until spring of my junior year of college that I caught a glimpse in some photos of me at the beach of what I really had become: while my family was out laughing and flipping and playing in the water I was sitting on the beach covering up in clothes because I was uncomfortable in my swimsuit.
I decided right then that it was time to make a change.

It's now September, and my fitness journey has been going strong. I promised myself that instead of crash dieting I would make sustainable life style changes that I can use for the rest of my life. I don't deprive myself of anything I just make a more conscious effort to eat smaller portions and be more active in my daily life. The results have come slower than if I had crash dieted but they're definitely coming.

In the picture below I am wearing a pair of pants that I bought in the spring of this year. When I first bought them I couldn't pull them up over my thighs...it's now September and I can comfortably button them for the first time ever. Words cannot describe how excited I was this morning when I tried them on!

Now, I'm not writing this to brag about my accomplishments or show you how awesome I am. I'm writing this because this time last year I was so uncomfortable in my own skin and now, even if I'm not quite to my goal weight yet, I feel confident and happy and I want you all to know that you can do the same! I feel like we sometimes forget just how capable of making change we are. I know that through my fitness journey I've had my fair share of disappointments and discouraging days and sometimes I wondered to myself "what's the point?". But after several months of effort and one pair of well-fitting pants later I see how far I've come and am so excited for where I'm headed.

Welcome to My Crazy, Beautiful Life

Well, here goes nothing.

I have always been the type of girl who has found beauty in language. It really doesn't matter much how the words are delivered, but rather what the message delivered by those words is. I do not claim to be a poet, an inspiration, or even a good writer; but I hope that someday the words that I record here will evoke happiness and joy.

It is the summer between my Freshman and Sophomore years at the University of Arizona and with the territory of being a young woman of my age is the incessant need to question everything in my life. What classes should I take this year?  Do I believe in God? And if yes, how large a role does religion take in my life? What is my ultimate goal? Do I really want to be associated with that group of people or is it time to move on and discover new friends? And of course, the nightly battle of whether to keep scrolling Tumblr, browsing Netflix, and scouring YouTube or unplugging and actually having a shot at a decent night's sleep? But despite all of these questions that have been whirring through my mind lately I have discovered something extraordinary: I am happy.

Now, Johnny Depp has been one of my inspirations in life for several years. While yes, the man is drop dead sexy, unbelievably talented, and unapologetically, 100% strange, it is none of those qualities that struck my interest. Rather, one day while perusing the endless wonders of the interweb I stumbled across this quote:

There are four questions of value in life: What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same. Only love.

And this, ladies and gentleman, is why I believe that despite not knowing any of the answers to the "big questions" in life I am able to say that I am wholly happy with the life that is mine. It is by no means perfect or even ideal, but no matter what challenges and negativity life throws at me I know three things:

1. Every storm runs out of rain.
2. I am blessed. I have a family who loves and supports me unconditionally. I have friends that I would not trade for the world. I have passions and talents that I pursue wholeheartedly. And I am beginning to discover that my Tri Delta sisters will always have my back.
3. Nothing else matters: only love.